Insomnia

My insomnia has been getting progressively worse. It has now gotten to the point where I sleep for one night and stay awake for three. While I was hoping I could find a way to make my insomnia productive, instead I have become increasingly unproductive; in a jet-lagged, half-conscious, dizzy state for days. My psychology knowledge is rolling around in my brain. My constant need to know why is pulling me further into sleeplessness. So I’m coming up with theories and solutions, if you have any better ideas, let me know.

1. Unknown transition stress: Since I've been married for less than two months, and everyone keeps telling me that marriage is stressful. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Countless articles and stories from friends say that the first year is miserable. I personally don’t feel miserable about my marriage. My husband is the greatest thing to have around. Yes, occasionally we fight and yes, occasionally, he drives me nuts. But overall we’re pretty happy. But in the case that I am secretly in denial, I’m focusing on having a realistic view of my life.

2. I’m jobless and my future is dependent on online classes. I am purposeless, with a lack of guidance on how I’m going to go about achieving goals that are too lofty to fully pursue at this point. As someone who is comfortable moving every year, and someone who wants to live everywhere, I am use to a feeling of uncertainty, but for some reason I am desperate for a five year plan. I want to know where I’ll be in a year, and in five years. I know five years isn’t exactly long-term, but it feels long term enough to comfort me. Also no amount of quoting Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:6, or Proverbs 19:9 is going to make me feel better (stay tuned for a rant on Biblical catch phrases, coming soon). The problem is, fixing this one takes time, so if this is what is causing my insomnia, I have a long haul ahead of me.

3. As an extrovert, I need some people interaction. And as lovely as my husband is, I need more people. Living in Riverside, I am over an hour from any real friends. My husband’s friends are here, but that’s slightly unhelpful. The longer I go without people interaction and the longer I go without sleep the more intense my desire to drive to the ocean at 3:00am and make some new friends. Not a wise choice. If this is indeed my insomnia problem, then I need some friends. So if you’re reading this in the Riverside area and you want a new bff, I’m your girl.

I know, not the most intellectual post, but going on three days without sleep, it’s all I have for you. Sleeping tips anyone?